BlueIcyMind - A WonderLand Of Imaginations: funny text messages/SMS

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funny messages

If your father is a poor man,

It is your fate but,

If your father-in-law is a poor man,

it’s your stupidity.

***********

I was born intelligent – Education ruined me.

***********

Practice makes perfect…..

But nobody’s perfect……

So why practice?

***********

If it’s true that we are here to help others,

Then what exactly are the others here for?

***********

Since light travels faster than sound,

People appear bright until you hear them speak.

***********

How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?

***********

Money is not everything.

There’s MasterCard & Visa.

***********

One should love animals.

They are so tasty.

***********

Behind every successful man, there is a woman

And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

***********

Every man should marry.

After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.

***********

The wise never marry.

And when they marry they become otherwise.

***********

Success is a relative term.

It brings so many relatives.

***********

Never put off the work till tomorrow

What you can put off today.

***********

“Your future depends on your dreams” So go to sleep

***********

There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning

***********

“Hard work never killed anybody”

But why take the risk

***********

“Work fascinates me”

I can look at it for hours

***********

God made relatives;

Thank God we can choose our friends.

***********

The more you learn, the more you know

The more you know, the more you forget

The more you forget, the less you know

So.. Why learn.

***********

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station….

What more can I say….

Funny messages

1)Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi

but goes directly to Tendulkar.

.....

why ?? why ??

.....

......

.....

Because, Tendulkar is an opener.

------------------------------------------------------

2)Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

......

...

Socho socho

.....

......

.....

aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------

3)What will! u call a person who is leaving India??

Socho................Socho

.....

......

.....

Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
------------------------------------------------------------------
4)Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam

Kya tha................................... ...

Socho yar ....its very easy

.....

Answer: adidas
------------------------------------------------------------
5)Luv and Kush were going to a village & in between

comes a well. Luv fells into the well. Why ?

.....

Because Luv is blind!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
6)Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?

.....

....

.....

OK lot's of head scratching done.

.....

......

Answer is... Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------

7) Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..

.....

nahi pata..??

.....

Answer: D'Cold

"chain ki saans - D'cold"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

8)Ek aur.....

Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol

chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon??

arey yeh to batao ....

.....

......

.....

think harder...

.....

......

.....

Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha,

ha..kitna asan tha .....kya yaar...tum bi na

--------------------------------------------------------------------

9)Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe .....

kamal,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the..

bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata

hai why???

.....

Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

aur chhaiye kya?

.......theek hai

.....

yeh lo...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10)Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade

the...bus aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti

Kapoor nahin jata

Qyo???

.....

......

.....

....

Qyonkieeeeeee ....

Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ka wait Kar raha tha..............

--------------------------------------------------------

> >*Whats the opposite of Real??**

>>Its COCONUT....

>>kya hua.... Confused??

>>jara ....Socho...yaar ???

>>opposite of real is 'Na-Real' . in English it is

>>coconut

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>what is the vector form of sridevi???? JJJJ ???

>> ?

>>(u must have studied vector algebra to know its

>> answer)

>>ANS : - TABU!!!!

>>confused???? why????

>> .

>>..

>> ok i'l tell you...

>>..

>> .

>> . because.

>> .

>> . sridevi did chandni and tabu did chandni bar!!!!!

>> ==========================================

>>What would Dharmendra say to Hema Malini if he wants

>>to tell her to

>> call

>> him up...?

>>:

>>Ring De Basanti :))

>> =========================================

>>A dentist was examining a patient having a highly

>> contageous deadly

>> disease....

>> As soon he opens the patients mouth the disease gets

>> transferred to the

>> doctor... how??

>>scroll

>>....Because the patient had a bluetooth!!

>>=========================================

>>>>

>>*==========================================*

>>*three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly **

>> one of them started

>>singing the song -- AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE.

>>Few mins later, all the three cockroaches

>>died......any idea why?????

>>COZ the song is HIT......

>>** **

>>==========================================

>> ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyan(6 fingers) hoti hain... sab

>> log use "Hanuman"

>> keh

>> kar bulate hain... batao kyun???

>> .

>>ans:kyounki uska nam hanuman hai! JJ

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher: Johny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your

brother's. Did u copy his?

Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Ha.....Ha....Ha....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---------------------------------------------

~HVBARI~

Funny Meassages

English teacher: Make a sentence using neither-nor?

Boy: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, neither are they comfortable nor we.

~HVBARI~

----------------------------------------------------

Q: What is differance between Aadami & Aurat?

A: Aurat ek hi aadami se bahut sari ummeed karti hai.

Aur aadami bahut sari auraton se ek hi ummeed karta hai…
~HVBARI~

-------------------------------------------------

Commerce professor asks the student:

what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: “Father in law”.

~HVBARI~

---------------------------------------------------------

An Elephant meets an Ant.

ANT: Tumhari umer kitni hai?

ELEPHANT: 5 saal.

ANT: 5 saal aur itne baddey.

ELEPHANT: Main HORLICKS jo peeta hoon.

ELEPHANT: Tumhari umer kitni hai?

ANT: 30 saal.

ELEPHANT: 30 saal aur itni chhoti…

ANT: I use LUX, meri khoobsurti se umer ka pata he nahi chalta…

~HVBARI~

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Degrees of girls!

B.A. - Beautiful Angel

B.E. - Beautiful Eyes

B.Sc. - Beautiful Structure

B.Com - Beautiful Communication

M.B.A. - Married But Awesome!

So Whts ur Degree?

~HVBARI~

----------------------------------------------------------------

Boy 2 God:

Give me a pocket full of money,

A job & a big vehicle full of Girls.

God replied:your wish is fullfilled

He became a bus conductor of Karachi University.

~HVBARI~

---------------------------------------------------------------------

U think of ME and I think of U.

When v both think of each other,

Do u knw what it means ?

It means v both have no work to do!!

Dono “NIKAAMEY HAI

~HVBARI~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Funny messages

Har nazar mai ek kashish hoti hai,

Har dil mai ek chahat hoti hai

Mumkin nahi har ek ke liye TAJMAHAL bananan,

kyonki har dil mai chaar - paanch mumtaz hoti hai

~HVBARI~

----------------------------------------

Boy : Agar Main Kahon Mujhe Tum Se Mohabbat Hai Aur

Meri Bas Yahi Chahat Hy Tou Kya Kaho Gi?

Girl : Me Tm Se Kahungi Ye Bat Agar Tum

Kahin Khana Khila K Kehte, Zara Mobile

Balance Dalwa K Kehte Tou Acha Hota…

~HVBARI~

---------------------------------------

Life Was Lonely,

No One Was There,

I Had No Good Friend,

And When U Came Into My Life,

I Realised That…

“Akele He Theek Tha Yaar”

~HVBARI~

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Flirt SMS

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si, Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi

Latak matak chalti thi, Aur kaha karti thi, Bartan Lelo Bartan

~HVBARI~

-------------------------------

Akele ja rahe the jivan k rasto pe… Naraz, Dukhi, Thakay Hoye

Phir ek mor pe aap sa DOST mila aur… Baki zindagi ka bhi SATYA NAS hogaya.

~HVBARI~

------------------------------------------------------

Lerki: Janu kuch aisa kaho na jis se mere dil ki dharkan tez ho jaye aur mera dil zor zor se dharke aur mujhe kuch kuch ho…

Lerka: Bhago tumhara bhai araha hai.

~HVBARI~

------------------------------------------------------------

I want a kiss from you

surprized??

but why??

aray baba

Kiss means

K> Koi

I> Intresting sa

S> sms

S> send karo

so pleas kiss me jaldi jaldi!

~HVBARI~

--------------------------------

Boy: I am not rich like HVBARI,
I don’t even have a bid car like HVBARI.
But I really love you!

Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about HVBARI

~HVBARI~

-----------------------------------------

Do you remember the day we travelled in a car? I put my dog out of the window, u put ur face out too, then people started shouting “TWINS TWINS”

~HVBARI~

--------------------------------------

3 sardar bed pe so rahay thay, teeno ko jagah tang horahi thi

1 sardar bed se utar k nichay sone laga to 2nd sardar bola…

… Oye! ab jagah hogayi hai ooper aa ja.

~HVBARI~

---------------------------------------------------------

Sardar petrol pump gaya, wahan usne ek board pe likha dekha “Don’t Use Mobile Here”

Sardarji ne mobile nikala aur apne saray doston ko phone kar k kaha “Don’t Call Me Now I'm On PetrolPump"

~HVBARI~

------------------------------------------------

Sardar ki wife romantic mood main pooray bed pr bazu phaila kr lait k boli

“kuch samjhe”?

Sardar: Haan, kameeni.

Tu purey bed pr akeli sona chahti hai.

~HVBARI~

----------------------------------------------------------------

Husband:Hypnotize karna kisay kehtay hain???

Wife:kisi ko apnay control main kar k us say apni marzi k kaam karwanay ko kehtay hain,

Husband:Chal jhooti usay tou Shaadi kehtay hain.

~HVBARI~

--------------------------

Driver: Sir ji, Petrol khatam hogaya hai gadi agay nahi ja sakti.

Sardar: Chalo phir wapas le chalo.

~HVBARI~

Funny messages

Poem of girls-:husband hamara aisa ho,

wallet me jiske paisa ho,

lambi jiski height ho,

gusse ka wo lite ho,

jab sas se meri fight ho

to kahe janu tum he right ho

~HVBARI~

INTERVIEWER:WHERE WR U BORN

SARDARJI:PUNJAB

INTERVIEWER:WHICH PART??

SARDARJI:OYE KYA WHICH PART WHOLE PART WAS BORN IN PUNJAB.

~HVBARI~

a pig fell in love wid a hen,

1day they KISSED each other,

nxt day d pig died of BIRD FLU,

n bird died of SWINE FLU,

"AJAB PREM K GHAZAB KAHANI"

~HVBARI~

agar aap hum par gussa ho to ...

tajmahal ko fodo..

chaminar ko chodo

kutub minar ko todo..

titanic ko fevicol se jodo

bt humko msg karna mat chodo

keep msging........:)

~HVBARI~

cheeers!

Good news 4 u.

Thaumps up pio

pepsi pio

juice pio

beer pio

kyuki ke

HUGGIES pe Rs15/-off hai.

~HVBARI~

System of love:

Jan - Rose

Feb - Propose

Mar - Gift

April - Lift

May - Chating

June - Dating

July - Kiss

Aug - Miss

Sep - Drop

Oct - Escape

Nov - Rest

Dec - Next

~HVBARI~

Mere jaise ladke ko kya chahiye?

1 Ladki jo pyar de.

1 Ladki jo achha khana banaye.

1 Ladki jo paisa kamaye.

Aur aisa nasib ke tino ladkiyan ek dusre se mil na paaye.

~HVBARI~

Hitler raha nahi,

Saddam pakda gaya,

Bin Laden ka thikana nahi,

Veerapppan mara gaya,

Aap bhi milte nahin,

sab DON ki same kahani.

~HVBARI~

Lab khamosh hojate hai

jab tum samne aate ho,

Dil dhadkta hai

jab nigahe milate ho,

Saans rukti hai

jab tum muskarate ho,

Dil kamjor hai mera,

Itna kyon darate ho?

~HVBARI~

Sardar 1:U know i saved 50 % money by going Honeymoon alone

Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved 100% of my money,

my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.

~HVBARI~

If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,

Dont worry

i'll come, and hold ur hands,

take u 4 walk on a bridge.

and

will show u a place,

where 2 jump from.

~HVBARI~

Girl:ur name?
Boy:black lion,
Girl:r u joking.
Boy:no,its means kalu singh, & urs.
Girl: Soft underware,
Boy: WHAT! r u joking?
Girl: no,its mean komal chadda.

~HVBARI~

Bandar ka beta : bola papa,muje shadi karni hai.
Bandar bola: beta sabar karo, dulhan abi sms padh rahi hai,
par jo agar padh kar muskrahi to samjo rishta paka.

~HVBARI~

Patni- Mobile,

Pati- Sim Card,

Dono Mile To Hua Reacharge,

Beta Hua To Incoming,

Beti Hue To Outgoing,

Two in One Hua To Bonus Talktime,

Kuch Nahi Hua To Network Problem.

~HVBARI~

Funny messages

Saying of the Decade:

Even if all the musicians join together 2 create a melody 2 make us sleep,

dey can't beat our teachers & textbooks..

Classroom is like a train...

1st 2 benches are 4 VIP executives...

middle 2 benches are general compartments...

last 2 benches are sleeper coaches.

Tajmahal kya chiz hai dost,

hum tumhare liye usse bhi badi imarat banwayege,

shahajaha ne to mumtaj ko murda dafnaya tha,

agar RPLY na kiya to hum tumhe Zinda Dafnayge.

~HVBARI~

Dad: Tipu Sultan kaun hai?

Son: Pata nhi!

Dad: Skul jao to pata chale!

Son: Singh Uncle kaun hai?

Dad: Pata nhi!

Son: Ghar par raho to pata chale!

poem of girls-:husband hamara aisa ho,wallet me jiske paisa ho,lambi jiski height ho,gusse ka wo lite ho,jab sas se meri fight ho to kahe janu tum hi right ho...

Wife:Bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subai k 8 ho gaye,

Thake nahi ?

Hsbnd: abhi to kuchh nahi kia ab to din raat karunga kyu ki..............

5000 MSG free hai.

Jab Kabhi kanjusi ka award diya jayega

apka naam sab sey pehley liya jayega.

ghalti sey bhi ab sms na kerdena

varna award haath sey niqal jayega.

~HVBARI~

man shoots mad dog 2 sav lady

news:indian saves lady!

man:am not indian

news: foreigner saves lady

man:-am pakistani

breaking news: "Terrorist Attack local Dogs"

When a man talks dirty to a woman,

it's sexual harassment.

When a woman talks dirty to a man,

it's $5.00 per minute.

socha tha use is kadar vul jayenge,

dekh kar v andekha kar jayenge.

oar jab jab dekhta hu usko......

souchta hu is bar dekh lu

agli bar vul jayenge.

poem of girls-:husband hamara aisa ho,

wallet me jiske paisa ho,

lambi jiski height ho,

gusse ka wo lite ho,

jab sas se meri fight ho

to kahe janu tum he right ho

INTERVIEWER:WHERE WR U BORN

SARDARJI:PUNJAB

INTERVIEWER:WHICH PART??

SARDARJI:OYE KYA WHICH PART WHOLE PART WAS BORN IN PUNJAB.

a pig fell in love wid a hen,

1day they KISSED each other,

nxt day d pig died of BIRD FLU,

n bird died of SWINE FLU,

"AJAB PREM K GHAZAB KAHANI"

~HVBARI~

agar aap hum par gussa ho to ...

tajmahal ko fodo..

chaminar ko chodo

kutub minar ko todo..

titenic ko fevicol se jodo

bt humko msg karna mat chodo

keep msging........:)

~HVBARI~

cheeers!

Good news 4 u.

Thaumps up pio

pepsi pio

juice pio

beer pio

kyuki ke

HUGGIES pe Rs15/-off hai.

~HVBARI~

System of love:

Jan - Rose

Feb - Propose

Mar - Gift

April - Lift

May - Chating

June - Dating

July - Kiss

Aug - Miss

Sep - Drop

Oct - Escape

Nov - Rest

Dec - Next

~HVBARI~

Mere jaise ladke ko kya chahiye?

1 Ladki jo pyar de.

1 Ladki jo achha khana banaye.

1 Ladki jo paisa kamaye.

Aur aisa nasib ke tino ladkiyan ek dusre se mil na paaye.

~HVBARI~

Hitler raha nahi,

Saddam pakda gaya,

Bin Laden ka thikana nahi,

Veerapppan mara gaya,

Aap bhi milte nahin,

sabki DON ki same kahani.

~HVBARI~

Lab khamosh johate hain jab tum samne aate ho,

Dil dhadkta hai jab nigahe milate ho,

Saans rukti hai jab tum muskarate ho,

Dil kamjor hai mera,

Itna kyon darate ho?

~HVBARI~

Sardar 1:U know i saved 50 % money by going Honeymoon alone

Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved 100% of my money,

my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.

~HVBARI~

If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything,

Dont worry

i'll come, and hold ur hands,

take u 4 walk on a bridge.

and

will show u a place,

where 2 jump from.

~HVBARI~